Elderly German warmongers furious as twink Ole Nymoen refuses to die for their war

Germany’s esteemed class of elderly, liberal warmongers — also known in Germany as alte Weiße Männer — has found itself in a crisis: young, working-class men like Ole Nymoen are refusing to enthusiastically sacrifice themselves for the grand vision of increased military spending and a return to “serious” war preparedness. The audacity!

For years, these fine, upstanding gentlemen (and a few ladies in expensive blazers) have graced roundtable discussions, political forums, and elite cocktail lounges with their intellectual musings on how Germany must “modernize” its military and re-establish itself as a global power. However, when it comes to actually stepping onto the battlefield, they have developed an unfortunate condition known as strategic physical unavailability—a disorder common among politicians, CEOs, and newspaper columnists over the age of 55.

Sacrificing the Working Class for a Higher Purpose

Nymoen, a young author, columnist, and podcaster, dared to point out an inconvenient truth: it’s the young, working-class men who will ultimately be sent to the trenches, while the architects of war will continue writing op-eds about the “unavoidable necessity” of military action from the comfort of their study lounges.

“It is not their children who will die,” Nymoen explained, blinking incredulously at an old man in a tailored suit demanding increased defense budgets. “It is not their friends who will be sent off to some battlefield to uphold ‘European values’ while they sip Bordeaux in Paris. It is people like me.”

The reaction from Germany’s aging intellectual elite was swift and brutal. Der Krieg ist unvermeidlich! The war is inevitable! they declared, furiously shaking their heads while adjusting their silk scarves. One particularly passionate commentator accused Nymoen of “failing his duty as a European citizen”—because apparently, a true European willingly offers himself as cannon fodder for the geopolitical aspirations of the upper class.

Reforming the Military (Without Serving in It)

The same people who spent decades mocking nationalist rhetoric have suddenly found themselves deeply invested in Germany’s military prowess. Now, they are actively supporting reforms that would make Germany’s armed forces more agile, well-funded, and strategically dominant. However, they have also clarified that their role in this effort is purely intellectual.

“We must be prepared for war,” announced one think-tank analyst who has never held a weapon in his life. “Not that I will personally be involved, of course, but I fully support young men like Ole sacrificing themselves for the cause.”

Meanwhile, Germany’s actual military personnel—those working-class young men who enlist for financial stability—are left wondering why they suddenly have to become the guardians of civilization just because a bunch of politicians rediscovered their inner Clausewitz after a few glasses of Riesling.

A Crisis of Masculinity? Or Just a Crisis of Privilege?

Rather than acknowledging Nymoen’s argument, some elderly defense enthusiasts have resorted to a tried-and-true tactic: questioning the masculinity of young men who are skeptical of war.

“Back in my day, men were real men!” cried one retired professor, sipping a €12 cappuccino while reminiscing about a youth spent safely tucked away in academia. “Now, we have these delicate twinks like Nymoen who refuse to fight. What happened to the warrior spirit?”

Of course, back in his day, military service was often optional, war was something that happened in history books, and he himself never had to dodge a single bullet. But these are minor details.

Conclusion: The Eternal Warmongers and Their Convenient Absence From the Battlefield

At the end of the day, nothing is new. The rich and the powerful have always found eloquent ways to justify why young men should die for causes they themselves will never risk their lives for. The only difference now is that twinks like Ole Nymoen are refusing to play along.

The elderly warmongers will huff and puff, write a few more columns about “the decline of Western civilization,” and then return to their elegant dinner parties—secure in the knowledge that while they passionately advocate for war, they will never have to fight it.

Context

Ole Nymoen has become talk of the town ever since this best-selling author’s provocative book “Warum ich niemals für mein Land kämpfen würde”, literally, Why I would never fight for my country has hit the markets. It’s being seen as the anti-thesis to the narrative being built around Russia’s invasion of Ukraine, how Europe and Germans have to increase their war-preparedness and invest billions of Euros into modern weaponry, upgrading the army, and reintroducing conscription. More than often these warmongers are speaking to an echo-chamber without serious contradiction, definitely not from someone who is supposed to fight for this big war dream at the frontline because young soldiers often don’t get a say in this. Ole Nymoen has decided to say no and reclaim this space.

Im März werfe ich mich noch einmal in den publizistischen Schützengraben: Dann erscheint nämlich mein Buch WARUM ICH NIEMALS FÜR MEIN LAND KÄMPFEN WÜRDE. pic.twitter.com/ae87kvqQJE

— Ole Nymoen (@nymoen_ole) January 11, 2025